Waiting.

A lot of nothing has been going on since finishing another semester of college, I've been spending time dreaming of the future and I've been thinking. I've found myself in the middle of the Summer, with nothing going on except for an overabundance of time to think. I can understand why time to think scares people so much. However, maybe people need to do more of what scares them.

If some minor circumstances had been different I would've been heading into my senior year of college (I'm currently heading in to my junior year), and I can definitely feel the "senioritis" seeping in. My body and soul longs to move on in life. I long to move past the dreams and into the reality of it all. One of the toughest seasons of life is the season of waiting. Sadly, it's not just a season, it's a single step in the endless cycles of life. Waiting. But it's in the waiting that you prepare for the next step, the waiting is necessary. Without the waiting, you take the blessings for granted. 

However, it's also in the waiting that the doubt sets in. Along with the doubt comes opinions from outside sources, it's in the waiting that you search for purpose. It's in the waiting that the fear of straying comes and it's in the waiting that you begin to wonder if turning your attention elsewhere is better than fighting towards your goal. Fighting is messy. It's dirty. But, the waiting promises so much if you can only focus on the goal. The problem with that is if you only look towards the goal, what are you missing in the here and now? The waiting promises so much, but the waiting, though giving the appearance of calm, is a period of testing. 

What if in the waiting you lose sight of yourself? 

What if in the waiting all you focus on is yourself?

What if it's in the waiting that you lose sight of Him?

What if it's in the waiting that you burn out?

In the waiting you prepare. In the waiting you have to take the time to face the fears. You have to face the doubts. You have to face the doubt from those around you. If you don't face them now, you face them later. It's in the waiting that you decide. You decide if you're going to settle for what life offers now, for the shiny things whose insides are caked with mud and grime. You decide if you're going to take what is easiest, what "makes sense". Or you decide if you're going to fight for the things that are dirty and tough. Will you fight to grasp the things that are "crazy", "dangerous", "impractical"? Will you fight for the things that you long for. Will you fight through the doubts and fears, will you fight through the sacrifices? Will you make a way for it to happen when everyone else is settling? Will you face the temptation of easy? Will you wade through your emotions and your doubts and make a decision? Maybe you'll just settle. It's easier. It makes sense. It's what everyone else is doing.

Maybe waiting doesn't make sense. But maybe waiting is what the world needs. Maybe we need to try something different. After all, we wouldn't need a "do over" if we could just get it right the first time.